Where Else in the World . . .

. . . could this happen but the Middle East, or more precisely Israel's Middle East. Perhaps we're all a bit sleepy or used to this behaviour but it's really quite shocking. Israel deserves the title of most provocative state in history. Not even the Americans would stick their necks out this much. I guess the British Empire deserves some consideration for the award but in the twenty first century this action is without equal.

So as we know, Israel has now invaded the Gaza Strip to rescue one of its soldiers that a gang of bold Palestinians had snatched from inside Israeli territory; amazing that with the power that Israel can project anywhere in the Middle East they can't stop a bunch of guys with a shovel and some Kalashnikovs. Following the standard formula of an eye for an eye, they proceeded to send in the army to destroy bridges and knock out almost all the power and electricity to Gaza's 1.3 million people. When a few extremists act, everyone must suffer; sounds logical right?

Oh what tribulations you should expect dear Palestinians if this soldier winds up dead! That one life is worth much more than 1.3 million. Never forget that.

Today Israeli fighters invaded Syrian air space and flew low over one of President Bashar Assad's palaces (what's with these Arab leaders and palaces?). Apparently he was home and probably got the message. This act basically puts to shame any notion of self-defense for Arab states in the Middle East. Imagine how the Americans would react if Canada flew fighters down to Washington and buzzed the White House. I guess this is more an example of the reverse; we'd probably thank them for visiting.

What's next? I would expect some flights over Lebanon just to remind Hizbullah who's in charge, maybe a mini-invasion and we all know that Israel has those Iranian nuclear facilities in its crosshairs. It's really quite unbelievable behaviour.

And all these millions upon millions of Arabs, and especially their states, that surround Israel are powerless to prevent this adventuring. If they raise a finger, or shoot back, they might find themselves obliterated at the bottom of a radioactive crater. Is it any wonder that frustrated young Arab men and women line up to join the ranks of Al Qaeda and similar organizations?

From Brazil With Love

"I'm here to tell you once more that I've accepted, from the bottom of my heart, the call ...to continue the struggle for a more just and independent Brazil, where each Brazilian can eat three times a day, can have a job, education and good health," President Luiz Inacio Lula da Silva, 60, told a crowd of some 2,000 party delegates this week accepting his party's nomination yet again.

Could you ever see Stepher Harper delivering this speech? Or George W Bush? No, they would focus on clean government and wars and freedom and other relatively meaningless concepts when you're hungry. More and more Canadians and Americans are undernourished or malnourished under an economic system that doesn't provide healthy, nutritious food to its most vulnerable citizens. Children especially suffer and can never have the same start in life as their well fed counterparts.

I suspect that before long our politicians will start to speak as Lula does. Everyday we're reminded of the potency of the Canadian economy that keeps chugging out the jobs and expanding, ever expanding. Yet, why do more and more people visit food banks every day? How can they not provide for themselves in this world of plenty?

I'm tempted to draw a link with peak oil and the slow withdrawal of energy from our economic system; I wonder if the two are related. As energy becomes more and more expensive, surely the rich and middle classes, given their access to resources, will have the right of first refusal and claim as much of this skyrocketing energy as possible for themselves. The poor, growing in number, will be shut out.

This is of course a realist vision. Ideally we would do our best to reform or revolutionize, depending on your inclination, our skewed system. We should ensure that food is protected from the drastic changes in the cost of energy in the cards. Food would therefore have to be grown locally to ensure short traveling distances (facilitated by cheap oil) as well as freshness. Organic growing would be a must given that pesticides and fertilizers are often made from oil or using oil energy. Perhaps access to healthy food should be written into our beloved constitutions. At the very least, politicians should, as Lula has done, call for each and every human to have access to three square meals a day.

One thing is certain, if we continue along this realist and selfish path, misery is guaranteed.

Big Blue

Call it the Hyper Schwarzenegger Effect. Under the plain old Schwarzenegger Effect you can be anyone famous with no political skills and be elected; your notoriety in an apathetic political culture guarantees election. The Hyper Schwarzenegger Effect on the other hand links celebrity and political acumen.

And believe it or not, the often robotic Al Gore's got it now. And to my mind that makes him the best candidate to be the Democratic presidential nominee in 2008. I know that Hillary Clinton is seen to be the forerunner but do you really think she'll have a chance in the red states? George Bush could run around stark naked in the White House rosegarden masturbating to gay porn tomorrow and the red states would still consider her a lesbian (what a haircut) liberal from the north and choose her opponent, any opponent however qualified.

But Big Al on the other hand is from Tennessee, just the right place for the next Democratic president to hail from. Better still, he's got a new movie on the big screen. He's been a senator, the vice President, he's filthy rich (a must if you're to be president), he had a cool beard since shaved off which might portend a presidential run, he won/lost the 2000 election so has something to prove. Now does he have the guts to put himself forward?

Hillary can be his vice presidential candidate and after 8 years of Goremania (no not Gore Vidal) she'll be primed to replace him. By then maybe the red states would be ready for her.

Things Fall Apart

It appears that the Coalition of the Willing is losing its cohesiveness in Iraq. And it's not just Tuvalu and American Samoa that are having second thoughts, the big boys seem to be coming around to the realization that Iraq is a quagmire of the first degree. Perhaps the recent discovery of two beheaded American soldiers will speed them on their way and may even influence public opinion in the most belligerent coalition members, the United States and Britain.

Ah beheading! Nothing beats 8th century justice.

To recap the recent developments in the coalition, new Italian Prime Minister Romano Prodi has signaled that all Italian troops will leave the Middle Eastern country later this year. This was a key component of his election platform and is unlikely to be swayed by the close election result.

In addition, today Japan announced that it was withdrawing all its, albeit largely non-combat, troops from Iraq. Japan will remove them over the next few weeks but will remain committed to supporting the development of Iraq; but is that possible without security?

The result is that the Americans and the British are slowly becoming the only countries willing to remain and even that enthusiasm is blunted by calls at home to withdraw soon. I believe that the Americans will withdraw the vast majority of their troops soon as will the British; I expect an American announcement on a firm date before the mid-term elections in November in a vain attempt to pry voters away from the Democrats. However this withdrawal will not be total. Americans and British troops will remain in occupation of huge military complexes which will serve as guardians of Iraq's oil infrastructure and ensure that every single American can drive by themselves to work every single day of the year without resorting to cycling, carpooling or, worse, transit.

Ultimately this will be the worst result for Iraq. Iraq will become like a walled gas station surrounded by a hyper violent neighbourhood. Anyone who comes near the gas station will be killed by its protectors and anyone who tries to live a "regular" life outside the gas station will live with the fear of death and robbery every moment of their lives. Towns and cities will become ethnic enclaves and ethnic cleansing will be commonplace. Children raised in this misery will see the gas station from afar and seethe with resentment at the Americans and will fill the ranks of Al-Qaeda and many, many more like minded organizations.

Instead of withdrawing their forces countries like Italy and Japan should demand that the United Nations be given the mandate to lead Iraq to stability. Then a number of countries such as India and Germany, who opposed the invasion initially, will be able to offer Iraq their support and troops to police the entire country, not just the oil infrastructure. The United Nations is the only body capable of possibly saving this debacle.

But I don't expect the Americans and British to share ownership of the gas station with the Iraqis let alone the United Nations. Peak oil sadly makes selfishness rampant.

Breaking News: North Korea Attacks Alaska

Axis of Evil member North Korea today launched two Taepodong-2 nuclear missiles striking targets in Alaska. Anchorage and Juneau were targeted. Initial reports say few people were killed given that most citizens were observing a local dogsled race. However the damage to the cities was estimated in the tens of millions.

This provocative move has the United States of America reeling, given the central importance of Alaska to the US economy; not to mention that Alaska is home to many bald eagles, the symbol synonymous with all things American. Local soldiers have been dispatched to protect the cruise ship industry as well as the oil pipelines in the state.

Canada has offered to assist the understaffed Americans with the Royal Canadian Mounted Police. Prime Minister Harper declared immediately that a number of RCMP officers would be removed from their usual duties harassing local First Nations and sent to Alaska.

In a statement following the attacks, the North Korean foreign minister stated that this attack was punishment for continued surveillance of the secretive country and continued American support for the government of South Korea. "Logically we had to do something. We had this new missile and it seemed foolish to let it go to waste. Come on, you Americans of all people understand this motivation".

A visibly frightened Donald Rumsfeld met reporters deep inside the fifth layer of the Pentagon to explain his country's next steps. "Only moments ago I ordered our Pacific Stealth Bomber Fleet to deliver a retaliatory nuclear strike. North Korea has formidable air defenses but we expect roughly 10% to survive and deliver their payloads to targets".

It's expected that by the end of the day North Korea will be a crater in the earth, similar to the one that destroyed the dinosaurs.

(Of course, no one wants to have Alaska laid waste by North Korean warheads. However it's important to put this news in perspective. North Korea may have a weapon capable of hitting the US but what use would using it be? Even if they could hit Washington, why would they if the result was a hole in the ground where Pyongyang used to be. Let's not forget that the United States of America is the country with one of the largest stockpiles of nuclear weapons. And they can hit anyone, anywhere and at anytime)

Lunar Real Estate Lesson

Renowned physicist Stephen Hawking recently declared that humans had better get busy blasting off to the stars above and establishing self-sustainable colonies. The reason for this bold statement? We need to find new homes, to ensure the survival of our species. Human-made disasters (plagues, nuclear war) and natural disasters (asteroid impacts, rapid climate change) could instantly annihilate our species in the blink of an eye while we are all "trapped" on our beloved blue planet. Taking Hawking's advice the Guardian did a fun job of presenting the real estate options available to humans considering a change of scenery.

Hawking's argument echoes the sentiments of the British Astronomer Royal, Martin Rees who has stated that it's 50-50 whether humanity will survive the 21st century. He challenges anyone to take this bet. Not surprisingly, he's betting that we won't make it. Who are these depressing scientists? I'm told they are more intelligent than me so maybe they are on to something.

Now there's nothing that realistically could be done to prevent an asteroid impact but even that failed to destroy the dinosaurs completely. But there surely is a hell of a lot that humans could be doing to combat climate change (leave that precious car at home), nuclear war (demand total disarmament now) and biological plagues (demand a ban on these terrible weapons). These eminent men seem willing to embrace realism and choose the easy way out instead of working to improve and save the only proven and perfect home for humanity and all other living beings. They are essentially saying, "We give up! Let's get out of here and try it all again somewhere else. This time it will work, we promise". I beg to differ.

Another thing that's clear from these statements is a high degree of arrogance that human life is the most sacred and worthy of saving; more than any other. The whole of (earthly) creation could, and almost should, be sacrificed that we might live and have everlasting life. It's nice to realize that scientists and evangelicals have something in common after all.

Deciphering Olmert

"“We'll never agree to pull out of all of the territories, because the borders of 1967 are indefensible," Israeli Prime Minister Ehud Olmert said yesterday in both London and Paris.

Three points:

1) Israel was born in 1948. Between that date and 1967 were their borders really indefensible as Olmert would have us believe? Seems not given that they lasted 20 years without a major war and then when that war finally came they quickly kicked the Arabs' asses out of the rest of former British Mandate Palestine and occupied it. Does that seem like a country with indefensible borders?

2) Forget 1967, Israel today is full to the brim with the most modern weapons systems in the world. It's really a joke to think that even if all the squabbling Arab countries that surround it were to mass their forces and attack that Israel would fall to them. Israel is the behemoth of the Middle East and let's not forget all those nuclear weapons. They are not weak as much as they would have us believe they are.

3) Most of the territory that Israel wants to hang on to is around Jerusalem. Does this not seem like a grab of the capital that both Israel and Palestine rightly lay claim to? After the unilateral withdrawal, that few countries seem to contest, the Palestinians won't even be able to get near Jerusalem.

What's the real message in your statement Mr Olmert?

Belated Bombings

A little late, given his expiration several days ago but I have a comment on the death of Abu Musab al-Zarqawi. Al-Zarqawi was killed when the US military, often the victim of false intelligence, got it right and blasted a hole in his hideout. He died shortly thereafter, probably while dreaming of all those sweet virgins to come. I hope he's not disappointed but something tells me he will be.

This event actually takes me back several years to the deaths of Saddam Hussein's two sons, Qusay and Uday following the invasion of Iraq. The circumstances of their deaths are very similar to al-Zarqawi's. Arguably, since the US military had solid intelligence they could have attempted to take the "terrorist" leader alive; the military was on the ground, administering first aid to the dying man, within a matter of minutes. Instead they chose to blow up the house and ask questions later. Similarly, Uday and Qusay were destroyed despite the fact that they could have been taken alive and, I recall, they were attempting to surrender at the time. Qusay's 14 year old son was also killed; perhaps surrender would have saved him death but in Iraq you never know.

Immediately like al-Zarqawi, their bloated, broken bodies were flashed around the world. What message did this send? Look at our handiwork. This is the ultimate reward for dictators. They are really dead, there can be no doubt. All these messages resonate with the image of dead icons including al-Zarqawi.

Assassination lacks justice though it does provide closure I expect. How much better would it have been to put these men, Uday, Qusay and al-Zarqawi on trial for their many crimes instead of blasting them into martyrdom? A trial is more complex than a bullet though and in Iraq, I guess, you make the most expedient choice. Even more could not these men have come in the fullness of time, following a trial, to repent their crimes and seek forgiveness (sorry to sound preachy but it's true). George Bush should be well versed in this methodology since it is apparently the message of his personal saviour and favourite philosopher, Jesus Christ.

Given the bodycount, something tells me that he's ignoring some parts of his beloved Bible in favour of others. Expect more dead icons to come.

Keep Waiting

You knew this was coming. Left Behind Games is introducing a new line of video games to "saved" children and adults alike. It's a real time strategy game, I would assume like Diablo, where you go around and save souls (interestingly you can do "evil" things like kill people but you lose points for this). The game is set immediately following the biblical rapture which evangelicals tell us is coming any day now: the signs are everywhere.

Essentially the rapture is the point in time when God will decide that the game's up; humanity apparently has an expiry date. On that day, millions of true Christians will ascend to heaven, leaving many of us behind to be slowly roasted over a spit. We are told that one morning we will wake up to the disappearance of millions of people. Then there will be an apocalyptic battle on this fateful day when Jesus will return to judge humanity and condemn non-believers and heathens to the eternal fires of hell. Sounds fun!

The arrival of the aforementioned game is the latest in a long line of films such as the Passion of the Christ, The Chronicles of Narnia and numerous books by esteemed authors like Pat Robertson. All these titles are based on a literal reading of the Bible and especially the Book of Revelations. The core problem of this view is that the Bible was never meant to be read literally so there will be no physical apocalypse. The Bible is so full of contradictions, dates and places rarely match the geography on the ground and almost all of the stories are borrowed from earlier sources. For an academic, it would be hard to accept the Bible as a reliable source. I had a prof at university who went on and on about how the creation story in Genesis is borrowed almost word from word from the Babylonian creation story. This never threatened his open Christianity in the least.

I must stress that this doesn't mean that the Bible isn't a meaningful document; I love reading the gospels and the great sayings that Jesus is supposed to have said (given that the gospels were written at least a hundred years after Jesus they might be at least slightly imaginative). But the Sermon on the Mount and the story of the camel through the eye of a needle and all those parables are amazing documents that everyone should think about. Obviously I'm not alone.

Having read a great book called The Pagan Christ the other day I'm really thinking a lot about these issues. I'll write more on the blog soon.

But the whole point is that games like those made by Left Behind and movies like the Passion of the Christ miss the point that these stories are meant to be read figuratively. What is the use of viewing a man who apparently lived 2,000 years ago, tortured and brutalized by the state and religious extremists if you don't relate it to your life and times? Will you just leave the movie theatre and go home and cheer on the troops? Shouldn't it make you think of Abu Ghraib and Guantanamo Bay or the hundreds of other state sponsored torture factories? Shouldn't it make you fight to ensure that this torture never ever happens again? Shouldn't we recognize that we are the Romans?

Similarly, what is the use of dreaming of the "pending" rapture? Why not work to save souls now by providing all people with healthy food, a safe place to live and respect? Seems to me that this would be the central theme of the Bible. Not physically ascending to heaven with the rest of the elect, leaving all wordly concerns behind. Salvation here and now for all, not just a select few.

But maybe that's just me.