Purple Monkey Dishwasher

Do you want to travel back in time? Well then, join the US armed forces.

How did I come to this bizarre conclusion you may be asking. Well I was pondering the name of the group that kidnapped four members of the Christian Peacemaker Teams in Iraq. The Swords of Righteousness Brigade claimed responsibility for the extended kidnapping; ultimately three of the hostages were released by the British military aided by Iraqi soldiers several weeks ago. The Swords of Righteousness Brigade must have realized just how stupid the kidnapping was since they didn't put up a fight. These people were there to help and act as witnesses; foolishly they killed one of the activists probably to show just how tough they were.

How ridiculous a name that the Swords of Righteousness Brigade is, I thought to myself. Obviously something is lost in translation, but if you think you're righteous, you probably aren't. That's a good life lesson if I ever heard one.

Of course it's not just insurgent groups that are using ridiculous labels, the US military is just as guilty. A came across a list of the US military operations in Iraq that somebody had been diligently compiling. Reading through the list I had the feeling that I had heard these names before. Operation Red Dawn for instance, wasn't that a cheesy movie in the 1980s when a bunch of kids take on the Soviet Army? Operation Iron Grip made me think of the Iron Sheik and his patented Boston Crab from the WWF in the 1980s. Operation Tombstone Piledriver comes directly from a wrestling move perfected by the Undertaker in the early 1990s; ditto Operation Rock Bottom. Operation Cobra Sweep similarly made me think of G.I. Joe (though I was more of a Transformers fan). Of course who could forget Wolverine, the Canadian X-Man from our favourite comic; not the US military who named an operation after him in August 2004. Then the pinnacle of this trip down memory lane was Operation Thunder Cat.

All these missions took me back to happy moments in my youth with references to the many media listed above. Since many of the soldiers in Iraq are around my age it stands to reason that these operations resonate with them too. The name given to a mission has little bearing on its purpose so why do they name them thus? Maybe these young men feel more enthusiastic about missions when there's a reference to their childhood; you can be like the Undertaker, take out Cobra Commander, save your Thunder Cat family. You can bet that the US military has done research on this one.

So that's how joining the military can take you back in time and down memory lane, if you're a twenty-something male from North America. Happy shooting!